I got this picture from my sister.  It's dirty, but it still laughing 15 minutes after first seeing it, so it's behind the cut.

( See the picture. You know you want to.... )

Winnie, Piglet, and Swine Flu

It may not be funny for those of you who like Hillary, I don't know. For anyone else, it should be laugh out loud hysterical.

Don't watch at work.



This has the same movie clip, w/ different subtitles. Even more obscene, but not at all political.

You may be a Taliban if...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by Churchill's response:

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill


"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."-- Stephen Bishop

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde


Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I
would poison your coffee!"

Winston replied, "Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!"

It's amazing how so many people can view the same object but see it so differently. Take a simple glass of water filled to half capacity. For Example:


An Optimist sees the glass as half full.

A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty.

A Philosopher sees the glass and wonders if the water is really there.

A Surrealist sees the fish that's not really in the water.

A Fish sees the glass as a Condominium.

An Optometrist can't see without his glasses.

A Naturalist sees the glass as half polluted.

A Salesman sees the glass as half off.

An Engineer sees the glass as twice as large as it needs to be.

An Entreprenuer sees the potential for twice as much water.

A Critic wonders who's responsible for filling his glass.

A Social Worker sees an opportunity to quench thirst.

A Teacher sees an object lesson.

A Psychiatrist sees the glass and asks what do you see?

A Mother sees just another dish to pick up.

A Father sees who's responsible for leaving it on the Sports Illustrated.

A Child sees it as a means to get back at a sibling holding a water gun.

The Army wonders how many it would take to fill a cantine

The Navy wonders how many it would take to float a ship

The Air Force wnders what it would take to shoot it from 30,000 feet

The Marines see it as a reminder that they're still part of the NAVY

The rest of the world sees this simple glass and wonders WHY ARE ALL THE AMERICANS STARING AT THIS STUPID GLASS?!?

HT ladydragonslaya

Go read it!

Got it from miss_mimsy. If you haven't seen Darth Vader "conducting" his march, go here, now!

Check it out! :-)

President Lincon's PowerPoint Presentation for Gettysburg